Here Goes The Down Spiral

My life continues to be a frustrating emotional roller coaster.
I broke the screen on my Fujifilm digital camera, I accidentally shut it in my friend's car door... Yes, I am that brilliant... I can still use it but I went, and got a new one, I just need rechargeable batteries for it.... I recently put a scratch in my cellphone screen, it fell in the ditch out of my pocket when I went out... Another smart move...
I lost a contact lense. I don't even know why I have them sometimes I just have them, lose them, barely wear them, and occasionally forget to put the solution in, and they dry out... I hate glasses, but they are safer to wear then contact lenses most of the time...
I don't know what is fake, and what is real anymore... I really don't know what to do with myself... I have break downs at least once a week for several factors. Including stress, among other things...
I always go into a huge down spiral once a year, but I was saved once upon a time. But that person will never be able to save me again...

Happier Note:
The wedding, and reception I attended was lovely. Since I have never been to a wedding before I didn't know what to expect. I am really happy for the lovely couple. ♥ So beautiful. The ceremony wasn't as long as I thought it would be, but it was still amazing, and the Reverend who taught my Religion course when I attended Mount Allison did a perfect job.
Bach's Jesu, Joy of Our Desiring. ;-; So beautiful...

Puella Magi Madoka Magica

Favourite Mahou Shoujo: Mami Tomoe, and Madoka Kaname.
Favourite Witch: Charlotte.
I started this series off, and was hooked the moment I started. I love Mami's character, and her death was unfortunate. I love her western style outfit design, and personality.
I liked Madoka because as useless as she was for the entire series, minus the flashbacks I knew there was something about her. I love her personality, and typical Mahou Shoujo dress design.
Charlotte is my favourite witch because she is so cute. I also love the speculation about her.
This series put a crazy twist to the Mahou Shoujo genre, and I loved it.
I highly recommend it to anyone who likes the Mahou Shoujo genre, or anyone who likes genres twisted.

Still Rather Frustrated

I am still rather frustrated about work, and them cutting my hours.
They have done it again today, and it wasn't as bad. I finally have my shifts for this week, and that is kind of alleviating some of the stress I have.
I feel like I don't fit in, and most of the time I just want to disappear. I hate that feeling. I do like some of the people there. Some of them are nice to me. ♥ I believe some of them would be great friends.
There was some fun at work today. We were all singing along to Taylor Swift's Love Story, and a few other songs on the radio. It was fun.
I've been so distressed, and there is only one person I want to talk to. I just don't want to be the one to start the conversation. I hope they start talking to me soon.

Falling Into More of a Mess

Once again, I have been cut hours, they sent me home three hours after my shift started. Who the hell schedules 23 people to work over lunch?! Send home the whiny little high schoolers who complain about that job, because it's oh so hard. They just hired more people too, I understand the high turnover rate, but a lot of people can't even handle the first few days. I still don't have my schedule, and I asked for it this morning, and I got a I will get it for you, and bring it out, and for the three hours I was there I never got the damn thing! Liar. I promised someone back home that I wouldn't cry at work up here, and I did. All be it no one seen it, or noticed, but I still failed to keep that promise.
My friend was right I can't do the crew trainer job, because I don't understand it, and I don't know what it is, the same with management. I will forever be unhappy at my current job.
I called Dad, and I get stop crying, and do what you got to do. No one cares.
I went to the mall later, I had to find a dress to wear for my friend's wedding that I will be attending. I found one thankfully, and I love it. I also got one of those candied apples I love so much. It was so busy in the mall, and it's only Easter for goodness sake! I had also gone grocery shopping right after work for some much needed food.

So I Will Keep Smiling Regardless of the Pain

I've had two days off, and what did I do with them? The same thing when I went home, nothing. :D Yes I am still going on about that.
Well actually I have all my things up here so I can do things I suppose, but it is still pretty boring when you have no friends.
So I am back into watching anime again, oh well, it's kind of a hobby, and it kills time, plus it is a huge inspiration for me as well. I started watching Puella Magia Madoka Magica, it's such a dark twist on a magical girl story. Love it! ♥ I also finished it because all the episodes have been released. I love the characters Mami Tomoe, and Madoka Kaname.
My left knee bothered me for most of the day Thursday for some reason. I haven't done anything major to it, just the normal hit it off stuff occasionally by accident. Not going to worry about it.
I am silently proving that my friends back home really don't care about me, no one talks to me, I always start conversations on msn, very few people send me texts. It is actually really depressing because I feel so alone up here, and it has been like this since I moved, and before then.
I just have to smile, and push along like nothing is wrong.