Negative Thinking

Life has been falling apart since September. I can't help but think negatively.... It's all I know, I also constantly hate myself.
Work is hell every single day.
I did have one fun day though. I help decorate at a friend's house, because they didn't call me to decorate at work... We had great fun.
Also went Christmas shopping with Dad. Well I know what my Brother is getting for Christmas, Dad got it before now. My brother is so spoiled, must be nice.
I literally work my butt off now to get what I want, and when I was younger I didn't have a job, my parents wouldn't give me money, yet they give my brother money all the time.