I am in so much pain, physically, emotionally, mentally.Physically it came from work, where else would it come from. The playplace door was swinging today, and it came back, and smacked me in the back several times. Headaches. Physically ill most of the time. Sleeping? Forget about it. Maybe for a few hours but I'm rolling around, or up way to early with little sleep. Tylenol isn't working. This might require a trip to outpatients, or a clinic.
Emotionally, and mentally something is always going on.
I'm always fighting with work. I'm always getting yelled at for something, usually stupid.... No one ever listens when I speak. The usual. I get cut hours a lot. It's because I'm new, and not well liked. Am I ever liked wherever I go?
I work myself hard, extremely hard because there is nothing else for me to do.
The only thing ever on my mind is problems.
I'm on probation with student loans.... Because I didn't finish second year at Mount Allison.... I have to do well this year. I plan on working hard. If I make it that far...
I've got two people visiting me. One is actually one of my one, and only friends who sticks by me. The other girl, well... she's pushing her luck.... I have to work, but that doesn't give her the right to help ourselves to our fridge, I never said she could. She is also quite loud.... To loud for me.
I finally bought some decent groceries. The farmer's market is excellent for eggs, and bread.
I feel like an idiot for telling that guy that he is cute. It's not like what I used to do but whatever. I don't really know anyone here, and they sure don't know me. I don't like believing in people much either.
So much going on, so much faking happiness. It's ripping me to shreds.
