Another Day Down

I have too many things going on.
I have my Beginner's permit test tomorrow. I have been trying to study for that. I really want to pass, and get it over with. You have to pay to write the test, and then pay for your permit. It comes to over 100$ by the time you are done... That's expensive.
We didn't do anything in Economics lab, we just signed attendance, and then left. I really don't like dragging myself in for labs, but since we got done early I got to go pay for the Beginner's Permit test.
Went to Japanese, and I missed Monday's class, and Sensei expects me to know what is going on... Hell no. I managed to do some good today, it wasn't that bad. Our Intermediate course packs are finally in which I purchased yesterday. I also finally purchased a scarf which I have been looking for for years considering the clothing store used to be separate from the university.
Nothing new still stressed, tired, overwhelmed....
I want to back to May, and June when I was happiest when I still believed in love...
I have to go see my Japanese Conversation Partner tomorrow. I wonder how that will go....

Having a Lovely Time

Currently blogging through my phone, because the stupid wireless isn't working at the moment.
I haven't been to class since last Thursday, so I missed Japanese, and there was homework that I didn't understand so once again I get to look like an idiot.
I really don't think any of my university "friends" understand my situation at all, and at current I do not trust one either.
I am just having a lovely time. I had another breakdown last night. I really want to drop out but I have to finish this semester.

My Mind is Made Up

I snapped walking across campus to Japanese today. This is after I went to buy a new Minna No Nihongo: Translation and Grammatical Notes because the one I bought last year is currently trying to mold, and is still quite wet....
Why stay at this university and be miserable? I really want to drop out right now, on the spot. I will wait though... Until this semester is over. I don't care about student loans because where I am going I can earn that tuition easily, not a problem. I really don't care what my mother says, it's my life, and I will do what I want. The shifts I worked as full time were insane, and I was making overtime almost every week because I am reliable, and I take shifts, and I never miss shifts.

Week Two and I am Sooo Busy

I only have three course, so apparently that is enough to consider me a full time student. (Microeconomics, Intermediate Japanese, Asian History)
Even though I have only three classes I am busier than when I had five courses. I am betting it on the fact that my Asian History class, and my Intermediate Japanese are both second year courses. I am still considered first year because I do not have the credits to be a second year student since I failed the two courses. (Sociology, Asian History)
I probably will take Sociology next semester, I need to because I would feel better if I could get rid of all my failing marks. Then all I need is one more course.
I just finished my Microeconomics assignment due tomorrow. There was only one question I did not understand.
Also the other day when I walked to school in the pouring rain my books, most of them in my backpack are still wet, and that is really upsetting.

It Just Got Worse

Worst day ever so far this year.
I wasn't feeling well this morning so I didn't go to Economics. I woke up put the stuff on the door for the delivery I was suppose to get, went back to sleep, woke up later, and it was there. It was sunny out then. I left at either the right, or wrong time for my economics lab, which I missed because I got into town late. Why? Because it was pouring so hard that down by where I live it was flooded with water on the streets, and I walked in it. The manholes were clogged so the town had to come, and remove the clogging. Just as they came this car didn't slow down, and you know excessive speed, and a lot of water on the street results in a big wave. If I didn't step back I would have been soaked, and even more upset. I wore tights, and a skirt, and I was soaked from the waist down. I bought warm sweatpants from the school bookstore. My feet were wet for four hours though.
I went, and got my student loan. Apparently they won't fax my confirmation of earnings but they did last year. I am short some money... AGAIN. Just like first semester last year.
I did make it to Japanese class though. The guy I used to like as me a really difficult question. It really upset me, and I still do not like him, why did I use to have a crush on him. =/ My phone was vibrating very loudly during class twice... First time it was Rogers calling to tell me the phone I ordered was in. The second time it was work, trying to get me to come in but I already was closing.
I was so pissed. I really hate this town, the university, my job, and my life.

Another Rut...Great

Oh God.
I HAVE NO DRIVE FOR ANYTHING RIGHT NOW FOR ANYTHING IN THIS TOWN.
I went to economics this morning, and that was okay. I went to meal hall, and studied with a friend for the Japanese Review quiz. I didn't even really study. I had no clue what to expect, I was thinking monster huge, but it was like our normal daily tests so I didn't do well. I am even having a hard time in Japanese. By the time I got in the class there was one seat left...right next to the know it all who I had a crush on last year. God knows why I liked this boy, because he is a prick. The class is smaller now too, and that makes me really nervous. We had a few good laughs over cute little mistakes. Also Sensei said she was going to start competing with how much homework she gives us versus other professors as a joke.
I wish I could just leave....

Any More of a Mess and Disapointment

Microeconomics will be a lot easier than Macroeconomics. I was surrounded by a bunch of First Year Chinese students where I was sitting. Yipee. First years.... :D I actually understand the professor. Tutorials for this class start next week. :D I hope I do well in this class.
I didn't go to Japanese, it was review, and I can do it on my own this weekend when I have it off. My mother called me, and severely upset me.
I am stuck at the university until the year ends. =/ I don't want to because there is nothing to take, and I really don't want back in Sociology. Mostly because it has to interest me or have some hands on work. I am seriously not smart enough to be going there. :( My mother knows nothing of university.
I have to stay or I will lose my loans which I kind of need. Especially if I move next year to go to elsewhere because my parents cannot financially help me, and never could, hence the reason why I have a job. Never question why I have a job, it is not a subject to touch with me.
Yea, I am still falling apart from time to time...

Textbooks and Still Not In Sociology

So for courses I have Intermediate Japanese, Microeconomics, and Asian History. I bought the textbooks I need, and the History Professor added another book to read to the course. Also there is a book to read for Microeconomics.
Well I am still not in Sociology, and no one was at the registration help desk she helped one guy, and then disappeared, needless to say I wasn't impressed, and didn't stand around. I wanted to deal with this today, guess I will go talk to the professor on Wednesday... Apparently the topic this year is poverty, now that I can understand. I just need to see which books I need, and if the textbooks are the same. Screw this faculty's consent I got back into History so why not Sociology, what is so special about it?
I just emailed my conversation partner, hopefully I can meet her before the event on Monday night. :D