Something is Always Wrong

I am in so much pain, physically, emotionally, mentally.
Physically it came from work, where else would it come from. The playplace door was swinging today, and it came back, and smacked me in the back several times. Headaches. Physically ill most of the time. Sleeping? Forget about it. Maybe for a few hours but I'm rolling around, or up way to early with little sleep. Tylenol isn't working. This might require a trip to outpatients, or a clinic.
Emotionally, and mentally something is always going on.
I'm always fighting with work. I'm always getting yelled at for something, usually stupid.... No one ever listens when I speak. The usual. I get cut hours a lot. It's because I'm new, and not well liked. Am I ever liked wherever I go?
I work myself hard, extremely hard because there is nothing else for me to do.
The only thing ever on my mind is problems.
I'm on probation with student loans.... Because I didn't finish second year at Mount Allison.... I have to do well this year. I plan on working hard. If I make it that far...
I've got two people visiting me. One is actually one of my one, and only friends who sticks by me. The other girl, well... she's pushing her luck.... I have to work, but that doesn't give her the right to help ourselves to our fridge, I never said she could. She is also quite loud.... To loud for me.
I finally bought some decent groceries. The farmer's market is excellent for eggs, and bread.
I feel like an idiot for telling that guy that he is cute. It's not like what I used to do but whatever. I don't really know anyone here, and they sure don't know me. I don't like believing in people much either.
So much going on, so much faking happiness. It's ripping me to shreds.

Another Day Down

I have too many things going on.
I have my Beginner's permit test tomorrow. I have been trying to study for that. I really want to pass, and get it over with. You have to pay to write the test, and then pay for your permit. It comes to over 100$ by the time you are done... That's expensive.
We didn't do anything in Economics lab, we just signed attendance, and then left. I really don't like dragging myself in for labs, but since we got done early I got to go pay for the Beginner's Permit test.
Went to Japanese, and I missed Monday's class, and Sensei expects me to know what is going on... Hell no. I managed to do some good today, it wasn't that bad. Our Intermediate course packs are finally in which I purchased yesterday. I also finally purchased a scarf which I have been looking for for years considering the clothing store used to be separate from the university.
Nothing new still stressed, tired, overwhelmed....
I want to back to May, and June when I was happiest when I still believed in love...
I have to go see my Japanese Conversation Partner tomorrow. I wonder how that will go....

Too Much....

I feel absolutely horrible at the moment.
I have an assignment due on the 12th, and that is after the Thanksgving weekend, and I barely have the book started.
I have my Beginner's on Thursday. I really wish I did that this summer but I kept forgetting, and I never copied down the number when I was there in July....
I missed class yesterday because I was curled up in a ball most of the day due to cramps. I missed important stuff. D: Oh my God I hate this I am actually getting sick, and suffering this year.
I am stressed out, tired, overwhelmed, and all that good stuff. I am pushing myself to do stuff, and that isn't helping either. It would be easier to drop out... I have been freaking out, and having more break downs because of all the pressure I am under.
I really don't want to do this anymore.
The semester is almost half over, and that is scaring me, the exam schedule is already out. I don't want to think about it because it is only going to sneak up on me....